hopeunwavering

4r5. Class of 2006

2007-01-07T19:58:00.000-08:00

4r5. The colour in my life.

That's 3r5 and 4r5. Graduated last year, 2006. Today is the 8th of January 2007. Just got home from the chalet after checking out. It's so lovely seeing all of them again. Even Clement came. How i wish those who were working could get a chance to come. It would be freakingly absurd if the employers said that they can't go for a class chalet reunion thing. If I were working and they said that I would walk right out on them. Miss all of them so much, and i keep getting that weird feeling wash over me everytime i go to school meeting new people. Its like its just a moment ago that everyone is all together everyday, and the next moment everyone is already gonna have to move on. Mdm Quek told me that i just gotta learn to accept that as i grow older cuz its gonna happen more often. Well i will try to do so, while at the same time keeping them in my mind and within also. Got to keep all those happy and wonderful moments and place it somewhere beyond the intrusion of dust. Hell sometimes i wish i was back at marine parade library revising with my friends, even if that would mean that o levels will still be ahead and not yet over.

Luckily the chalet went on fine with relatively few hitches. Oh ya, im sooo sorry for keeping you all waiting for the fire to start cuz it has been a really long time since Esmond, Yanjie and I did camping activities and somehow the knack of getting a fire started fades away without constant practice. Hope u all could send me the chalet photos soon. The rest of our photos are on this website created by Tammie: http://maomao4r5.shutterfly.com/action/

I miss my classmates a lot. I'm not gonna use "Guys like me can't really express their feelings all that well" as an excuse to withhold that sentence. I hope we will not get any further apart cuz that will be like removing so many happy memories from inside. All those happy memories that we have, whether in class, or during recess, or anywhere else are the very things that keep me going day by day in school.

I wanna compress all that I feel into just one sentence and pen it down here before I forget to mention it.

If I could picture in my mind just one of the many wonderful times we had together, even when revising the most dull stuff together, and go back to that moment in time and live it through all over again, I would call it my own little nook of heaven.

More songs

2006-12-30T05:16:00.000-08:00

All of them are songs with rich history behind them. Guess ive got a really weird taste when it comes to music

Dec hols so far

2006-12-29T05:59:00.000-08:00

Got Yishun JC for PAE application. Didn't wanna end up in there for PAE, but I'll just give it a try. My other 2 options were way too good for my prelim results i guess. Also ive quit all the 3 jobs that ive got cuz they were all too boring. Don't wanna say more about that lol.
Oh ya, please do visit this website here: http://ales-beautiful-mess.blogspot.com/
Beautiful earrings there made by my friend. Evidently the result of much skill and care and hard work over the holidays. Do check it out!

School's starting soon. Tata =)

Sacred Spirit-A Native American song

2006-12-20T23:24:00.000-08:00

I find Native American songs really beautiful and there's this distinct feeling of rich history behind their culture, language and traditions.

Legend of the Celtic Fiddle

2006-12-20T19:56:00.000-08:00

More songs

2006-12-06T05:00:00.000-08:00

Songs i like

2006-12-06T04:44:00.000-08:00

spilling thoughts.

2006-11-25T07:14:00.000-08:00

O levels over now. Whoosh and its 9am on the 20th of november. Last paper done. I love the feeling of relief, but with it comes a sudden change of 'pace' in almost everything. It seems that just a moment before i was rushing to get things done and revise everything before the exams and now everything is over and everythings a standstill.
All of a sudden theres so much time and so little to do cuz about a year ago what i did to concentrate on o levels was that i got myself totally disinterested in any pc game or any real games so that i could have that extra focus. So without any games that i really like now, time is passing really slowly.
So I applied for a job. A few jobs actually.
And the first interview in my life was quite a nervous surprise. At about 2.30pm on a day earlier this week, that lady employer asked about 6 of us (all teenagers) to go into the interview room. Surprised me abit cuz i thought all interviews are conducted for one employee at a time. Its not a real interview room, cuz you have to stand the whole time and if you look behind you can see so many bustling workers at their desks either on the phone, or staring at a computer screen, or looking through documents. Looks like a travel agent centre. I wasn't shortlisted. So next monday im gonna try another one. gosh i have to get my hands on something. Met another nervous teenager like me who was also applying. Hope it turns out fine for others.
Went to marine parade library today. Read some books and watched a really wonderful bunch of performances by a trio playing guitars and singing. I admire their confidence. I love to see the little children at the library too. Half felt like walking to the beach nearby to feel the wonderful breeze all over again. I still remember the wonderful seabreeze there when we stopped at bedok jetty on our hiking trip. It was blowing constantly and it felt really nice. It was really cloudy today though so i just walked to Eunos MRT and took the train home.
Hmm i need to get the cash from our anasing race winnings into a nets card so that i can book the chalets. Need to do it ASAP. I hope that i can get a successful booking and not let anyone down cuz ive promised that i would book one during the hols. I miss my friends alot.
Maybe i need to learn to be a little more assertive and less soft-spoken so that i can do better in later interviews. Everyone says im soft-spoken. Guess i need to get used to getting across to people cuz its crucial in doing any job.
Here's one really funny thing i got out of a children's book that i read at a bookstore while waiting for the interview:
Once a year the pimples on your brother's face spell out his name and address in Braille.
And another one: Starfishes are alcoholics, thats why you sometimes see empty bottles on the beach and never ever see a starfish standing.

Mother Tongue O level paper

2006-05-29T04:06:00.000-07:00

It was mother tongue o level today. Compo and letter writing for paper 1 and the usual compre and bina ayat(Making a sentence) and cloze passage for paper 2. Making the 3 sentences was the toughest for me. I dont read malay much and any words or phrases under the sun could be tested. I only did 2 at first and did the last one as I was checking. Felt really nervous although I tried to calm myself down. As I entered the hall I hummed the tune of a song thats really close to my heart. Its what I usually do to calm down when I feel nervous or afraid when facing difficult situations.

Now as I start, upon my chosen way,
In all I do, my thoughts, my work, my play,
Grant as I promise, courage new for me,
To be the best, the best that I can be.

Help me to keep my honour shining bright,
May I be loyal in the hardest fight,
Let me be able for my task and then,
To earn a place among my fellow men.

-First two parts of the Scout Hymn

10000 miles

2006-03-24T08:10:00.000-08:00

Fare thee well

My own true love

Farewell for a while

I’m going away

But I’ll be back

Though I go 10,000 miles

10,000 miles

My own true love

10,000 miles or more

The rocks may melt

And the seas may burn

If I should not return

Oh don’t you see

That lonesome dove

Sitting on an ivy tree

She’s weeping for Her own true love

As I shall weep for mine

Oh come ye back

My own true love

And stay a while with me

If I had a friend

All on this earth

You’ve been a friend to me

-10,000 miles by Mary Chapin Carpenter

Cleaning away the dust from this blog

2006-03-23T03:02:00.000-08:00

Its been a long time since I've last blogged. Really long. Last entry was december 21 last year. i am back. This week we have Founder's Day. Tomorrow there is no school for us. Haha its so lovely such a long weekend.

i love my class very much. they are sooo cute. Everyday timothy, daryl, fabian, and the others sitting at the back corner just never fail to make me laugh. The funny jokes they crack. The funny things they do. Its almost like watching a 6-hour episode of america's funniest home videos everyday. AFV is my fav comedy show but i havent watched it for so long. but i have this funny bunch of friends as a great substitute for that haha. Maybe its even better than AFV lol.

And we also have great teachers this yr. Mdm Quek to replace Ms Chua( i miss her ), Mdm Muneira with her wonderful and fluent english, Ms Zubaidah with her bright smile(even when she scolds haha), and Mrs Cheong as our form teacher. Much better compared to last yr (=

So theres no homework for me this whole weekend. Its all revision. Loads of revision. Sigh..the big O's.

2005-12-21T00:36:00.000-08:00

Maybe I’ve been here before
I know this room, I’ve walked this floor
I used to live alone before I knew you
I’ve seen your flag on the marble arch
Love is not a victory march
It’s a cold and it’s a broken hallelujah
Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah

-scene from the movie Shrek.

i have an aching regret about getting into such a terrible mess.

Its been boring these couple of days. Nothing much to blog about. Homework is such a drag. I need to do some revision. I love those books they have at the esplanade library. The ones about movies. feel like going there and continue reading. I'm not done with Seabiscuit yet. its lovely how the writer uses comparisons to describe the horses and the races. such a fine writing style.

Maybe we should develop a Crayola bomb as our next secret weapon. A happiness weapon. A beauty bomb. And every time a crisis developed, we would launch one. It would explode high in the air - explode softly - and send thousands, millions, of little parachutes into the air. Floating down to earth - boxes of Crayolas. And we wouldn't go cheap, either - not little boxes of eight. Boxes of sixty-four, with the sharpener built right in. With silver and gold and copper, magenta and peach and lime, amber and umber and all the rest. And people would smile and get a little funny look on their faces and cover the world with imagination.

-Robert Fulghum American Writer, Minister, Working Cowboy

Inner Peace

2005-12-12T18:37:00.000-08:00

we had a nice stroll to the pasar malam recently. New sights and sounds.
A young boy sitting at the head of a little train that goes in circles.
A figure of a glistening hippo rotating as the carriages with red leather seats go. He is trying to tell me something. I must strain my eyes to see. I must strain my heart to understand. Such peace in the stillness.

John Brown is filling his last cavity.-- Dentist's Tombstone

Trail of tears

2005-12-04T05:31:00.000-08:00

u ne la nv i u we tsi i ga gu yv he i
God’s Son paid for us

hna quo tso sv wi yu lo se i ga gu yv ho nvnow
to heaven He went after paying for us

a se no i u ne tse i i yu no du le nvthen
He spoke when He rose

ta li ne dv tsi lu tsi li
I’ll come the second time

u dv ne u ne tsv e lo ni gv ni li s qua di
He said when He spoke all the world will end

ga lu tsv ha i yu ni ga di da ye di go i
When He returns we will all see Him

a ni e lo ni gv u na da nv ti a ne hv
here the world over the righteous who live

do da ya nv hi li tso sv hna quo ni go hi lv
He will come after in heaven now always

do hi wa ne he s di
in peace they will live

-Cherokee National Anthem,
Sung on The Trail of Tears
taken from http://www.btigerlily.net/BTAmazingGrace

Holidays

2005-12-02T17:57:00.000-08:00

It has been a really long time since i last posted. Too long i think.

I have 3 more topics for e maths and only at the 3rd topic for a maths. And still i have journal entries to write for the malay books after reading them. Thats the stats for holiday homework.
And i have a camp on the 6th to 8th of Dec. It had to be Pulau Ubin. I love and dislike the place at the same time.

Its real boring during the hols. Sitting in my room doing math is even more boring. I'm starting to like maths but i still dont really like homework. Especially such a load of hw. im spending more time reading. I like it nowadays. Weather is so cool. Pulau Ubin would be better with such weather.

Hold on to what is good, Even if it's a handful of earth. Hold on to what you believe, Even if it's a tree that stands by itself. Hold on to what you must do, Even if it's a long way from here. Hold on to your life, Even if it's easier to let go. Hold on to my hand, Even if someday I'll be gone away from you.
"Hold On," A Pueblo Indian Prayer

I don't feel like blogging anymore

2005-10-30T16:39:00.000-08:00

You Burn Me. Big Fire. Whoosh. You Burn Me. Hurts. You Hurt me. Very deeply.

Exam results

2005-10-24T12:31:00.000-07:00

Got back the results just now. Its now oct 25 .3.37 am. ignore that timing at the top its inaccurate.
I don't think im going back to sleep. I'm gonna catch a damn cold in that air-con room and i dont think im gonna fall asleep anyway. So i figure might as well go out and blog. Its so quiet out here now. I like it this way.
I passed every subject except a maths. 43/100 for a maths. Quite frustrating. no its DAMN FRUSTRATING. Especially after going everywhere to study. Airport, school, library. Getting used to staring at that dratted ten-yr series. Practicing until i actually tried to place the pen cap onto my pencil and missing the target several times before coming to my senses and realising that its wrong. I guess shit just happens. Yup shit happens. Nothing new in this bizzare game called life.

Exams are over

2005-10-13T23:32:00.000-07:00

I went cycling after mt 2 yesterday. It felt great. I knew the exams are as good as over. Each push on the pedal with the wind roaring in my ears. I feel so free for a moment. I feel like im 5 all over again. Its been way too long since i made good use of my bike. i went on and on not caring about the drizzle hitting my face. The simplest things in life are the things that i hold dearest.

Today was paper one of poa. Was over quite soon. Just mcq. I made sure i was carefull as i can be.
Now we have the holidays and post exam activities ahead of us. So relaxing.

Most of us miss out on life's big prizes. The Pulitzer. The Nobel. Oscars. Tonys. Emmys. But we're all eligible for life's small pleasures. A pat on the back. A kiss behind the ear. A four-pound bass. A full moon. An empty parking space. A cracking fire. A great meal. A glorious sunset. Hot soup. Cold beer. Don't fret about copping life's grand awards. Enjoy its tiny delights. There are plenty for all of us.

United Technologies Corporation Ad

A Math!!argh

2005-10-12T05:37:00.000-07:00

Today was our a maths exam. It felt chilly during the paper. But we sure felt real good when it was over. I went straight home. Its night time now and i am revising for malay paper 2 tomorrow. Its such a relief that a maths is over. Thats about it. Short entry today.

Darn exams

2005-10-06T18:52:00.000-07:00

Just now was the chemistry exam. Lots of cloud in the morning, although we didn't get to see the rain cuz the exam was held in the hall. It was quite okay except for some parts that got me stuck. I sat next to Yishan. It was over quite soon. Just the way i like it. More revision for the weekend, monday included. The exams are coming to a close. I feel so happy.

Life, for me,
Used to be like a stroll in a park,
Straight and smooth,
Now,
I've ran into puddles, splish-splash
and deep ditches,
and treacherous trenches,
and long wide rivers spanning across,
to hinder me on my way,
the way is ever uphill,
every step my weary feet,
feels like sluggish lead,
many a dangerous waterfall,
that I have come by,
Then all is silent,
reluctant to be broken,
the wind is holding its breath,
the awful tingling sensation,
brushing away the branches
in my way,
badly scratched by thorns
in the dense jungle,
I come upon,
stark and sudden,
the vast blue ocean,

I have found a way by
every other obstacle,
but now,
I just can't swim!

Exams

2005-09-30T06:01:00.000-07:00

The exams are here. English part one and two was today. Haha yup. My compo was question 4. I wrote how I would choose to spend the money having an ordinary and yet meaningful time with my folks instead of splurging all of it on a holiday. I prefer to make the most out of every day and not going on a vacation and rush to try as many new things as possible within 24 hours.
To me, its the simplest things in life that I hold dearest. Thank you. And oh yes, before I forget, Mr Heng was really such a complete gaping idiot today. I really hope that he would change for the better.

Crippled, but not crumbled,
Disabled, but still making the best of our ability,
Troubled, but still more troubles ahead,
Joy, mingled with grief,
Comfort, mixed with pain,
Laughter, mixed with sadness,
Bliss, coupled with sorrow,
Regret, and the feeling of worthlessness,
and anger, and despair, and all the negatives we can think of in life,
together with hope. That is life.
-Nazri

This is too much

2005-09-21T06:32:00.000-07:00

Its been a long time since I updated. So much turbulence recently. Mr Heng is giving us yet more problems again. He called Aletheia irresponsible. Thats bullshit. Look at himself. He is calling someone irresponsible when he is the most irresponsible idiot. It would be responsible of him to not start any conflict or make anyone fed up in the first place. And after creating a conflict, it would be responsible to swiftly mend things. And he didnt do that.

I am so utterly sick and tired and fed up of seeing conflict after conflict after conflict happening. Every single day we go to school, make new friends, do alot of fun stuff. Know what one of the best moments of the entire day is for me? That 15 minute walk to school, when in my heart i really hope that there would be a small corner of the world where there is lasting peace. Where everyone can really get along and there wont be any unhappiness. No tears. No quarrelling. No one being treated unfairly. And when we get to school this is what we have to go through- Mr Heng and his crap. Arrgggggggggghhhh.
Thats it. This is one piece of nonsense too much from Mr Heng. Never EVER again will i be his vice-chair until the day when he repairs all the damage and heals all the hurt he has caused. Till that day comes, we have our new chair and vice-chair, Clement and Timothy as chosen by the class. i really hope Mr Heng will end his nonsense forever.

I will not play at tug of war,
I will rather play at hug of war,
Where everyone hugs,
Instead of tugs,
Where everyone giggles,
And rolls on the rug,
Where everyone kisses,
And everyone grins,
And everyone cuddles,
And everyone wins
-Poem by Shel Silverstein

Boring

2005-08-27T02:29:00.000-07:00

Its been real boring lately. I did some homework. Have to revise for tuesday's chem test. I've got my hp restored now. My parents got me a hi-card cuz my usage is very little.

Another dilemma

2005-08-26T06:19:00.000-07:00

I really can't bring myself to do it. Can't. My junior really wants to go on the sea exploration challenge tomorrow. Now he can't go, because he needs a senior partner who has a 1 star kayaking qualification. I went for the course, but somehow they didn't print out a cert for me. Without the cert my eager junior can't go now. Arghhh!Just heard the news that him and me will be cancelled out of the challenge because I didn't get the cert.
Now i have to pick up that phone and tell him. How on earth am i gonna do that?He can't go because of me. That phone feels so heavy argghh. The guilt is really huge. He has been so eager to go for it and now he cannot. I really wish i didn't have to make such a terrible decision. What am i gonna say when he calls back? its such a painful choice. I'm really sorry. Dui bu qi

Its been a long time

2005-08-19T21:44:00.000-07:00

Hello. Today is real boring. 3 tests to study for this weekend. 4, if I failed the graph test. This is sickening me. Yesterday during poa Mrs Wong was really one of a kind. We were our usual noisy bunch of kids. But other days were far worse. Why on earth did she overreact till like that on friday?

If anyone of you guys(r5) happen to be reading this now, I just wanna say dont bother about how she teaches or how she reacts when mr ong steps into the class. The most important thing is that we be focused and take our work seriously.

K let me see what I can add. Everyone has the day's happenings in their blogs. So i will also write a little on yesterday. Yesterday we began with reading. Then b4 that there were this 2 girls who came on stage to sing out their announcement. Wait was that on friday or thursday? crap i forgot.
it was great for a change. Very courageous it was of them to do something like that. Then after school i went for scouts. Got tied up against the flag with Gabriel. I didnt know his birthday was also august 18. Then here was no PLC meeting so I went home with Marcus. Then...oh no I can't remember what happened last night. Aha my parents bought me a delicious cake. Opps nono that was on thursday.

So maybe for monday's poa mr ong is gonna come into class and observe us. Half of me doubts he will really do that. But the other half says if he dosen't hesitate to give a spanking to students with such cold-bloodedness i dont see why he wont hesitate to sit through poa with us. So thats it for now. Sorry i havent been updating for so long :D

Super Saturday

2005-07-23T07:53:00.000-07:00

Today was wonderful. We had NDP training. Had to call two of them to come to school. They said it would take them a long time and then Ms Goh told me to call them off cuz they were holding everyone back and we were already late. I really hope it won't be such a last-minute rush again. I love the bus ride don't know why. Met a girl from cedar today at RJC. She said I should smile more. I really think I should. We then had lunch at the kopitiam before I went home. Then I took a nap when I reached. I woke up hearing the voices of my cousins. Had a great time today. Thanks for reading :)

A traveler crossed a frozen stream
in trembling fear one day;
Later another drove across,
and whistled all the way.
Great and little faith alike
were granted safe convoy;
One had pangs of needless fear,
the other all the joy.

Author Unknown

Reign of fatigue

2005-07-21T06:06:00.000-07:00

So much has happened since the last time I blogged. June 21 last update. Almost a month later now and my blog is really collecting dust. Sorry I haven't been updating it. Been either very busy or lazy till now. Either cant find the time or the effort to blog again. haiz..
Its back to school now. Racial Harmony Day. All of us had a lot of fun. For once I felt like a child again. Wish they could have games like this every day. No school work.No tests. No projects no meetings no juggling around with time. What a great world that would be. But all of us have to face reality. Thats a harsh truth to face, but we have to.

The recent NAPFA test went all but smoothly. Melvin was left behind. Quite a few of us are planning to run with him next week. ~Currahee~

Screw that peer leader badge. Everyone is making a huge fuss about it. The badge alone means nothing. If you wear a superman's costume it don't mean you can fly. Its difficult to put on and difficult to take off. I really really hope I don't ever have to book anyone. Sounds real absurd. Thats a teacher's job, not a student's.

Today was great. Had lots of laughter playing snap. We didnt really played by the rules. Everyone keep snatching the cards especially aletheia. One whole stack in her hand while I have very few. All kena steal man. But was sure one hell of a time though. Thats all. Goodbye :D

Midnight bustle

2005-06-21T09:50:00.000-07:00

Very boring day today. Read my book for quite a chunk of the afternoon. Then went for a stroll to eastpoint and got back some stuff. Met MinRu along the way.
Here I am now, at almost 1 in the morning after a long and fun session of online games with Tse Yun. She taught me tactics in minesweeper. She knew alot more in the game. I previously thought it was one heck of a boring guessing game. Now I realise its much more than that. Lost quite alot in pool. Got me rating plunging down the meter.(Thanks alot for playing anyway :)) Argh so many losses and so many silly mistakes.
Good night.

So tired of the straight line, and everywhere I turn<>

2005-06-20T07:58:00.000-07:00

I have absolutely no clue what has gone over me. I just feel really moody and almost depressed at home. Sometimes I feel I really lost the will to carry on with my life.
One moment I am swelling with joy and the next moment that sinking feeling comes back. And the cycle repeats itself over again.
One moment I feel brimming with energy and the next moment I feel completely fatigued. I don't understand why.
Went to watch madagascar just now. It was wonderful. Laughter is truly the best medicine. I especially like that cute furry creature that the lion scared. He was so irresistably cute. Still can remember exactly how he looked like. Huge eyes and one tiny tooth in the centre and that distinct look of such innocence and vulnerability. He got across to me the most. Before I watched it half of me thought that it was childish to have an interest for such a show. But I realise now that the child in me can never really die. It was one of the few times I forgot about my unhappiness.
Well that's it. Other than all that I feel at a loss of words right now.

"If you have faith as small as a mustard seed, and say to this mountain, "Move", it will move-Famous quote
Just give it a try alright? It feels useless and hopeless to try sometimes. But just give it one more shot. It felt the same for Frodo on his quest to destroy the Ring. He felt powerless to go against Sauron. All of them felt the same way. Even Elrond and Gandalf. And many of them felt that it was madness to take the ring to Mordor and risk it falling to the hands of the enemy, and would result in the complete destruction of Middle-Earth. Many felt that it was useless and foolish to go on such a seemingly suicidal quest. And yet, beyond all hope, they made it. Because they tried, even when it seemed that all would eventually fail.
Because even in the sinister darkness they saw hope.

Lazy day

2005-06-11T08:48:00.000-07:00

Woke up at 1015 in the morning. Went to lay back down in bed till 11+. Feel so fatigued by the camp. Slept at 3 last night cuz I was playing pool big time. Yup I was. Planned on unpacking my camping bag and starting on my homework today. In the end only done the first of the two. Could not bring my hand down on the homework I was just too lazy at the time. Maybe sunday =) .

Did some deep thinking after I found the Black Hawk Down cd and watched it. Was really exhaustive for my mind. ~Leave no man behind~

My cousins came in the evening. Had to listen to my uncle blabbering perpetually about the same goddamned thing he was talking about since what? a year ago? sheesh feel like just telling him of about how immature he was to think of such a thing. Yes I know that qualifications is a big important thing you know. But I also know that there is far more to life than a frigging master's degree or certificate that helps you get a good job and a shitty title called 'Doctor". I didn't buy any of that crap. Sometimes when the economy is bad people look upon academic qualifications and money like a god and absolutely worship it. But there is more to life than that. We make a living by what we get, but what we give makes us a life. So the only part of their visit I looked forward to was my cousin coming. He was real chubby and nice. Had pizza made by my aunty. Was delicious. Thanks alot to her.

Love the earth and sun and animals,
Despise riches, give alms to everyone that asks,
Stand up for the stupid and crazy,
Devote your income and labor to others...
And your very flesh shall be a great poem.

Walt Whitman
American Poet

Camp

2005-06-10T12:19:00.000-07:00

Came back from camp in the afternoon. Went to macdonald's with my scout comrades. Jeremy sir and Ru Han sir was there also. Had one hell of a great time joking and laughing. Made up a scouting name for Marcus.
Walked home after that. Was really painful trudging around in my black shoes cuz I have to take out the inner sole to fit both feet in. The boot is so rigid it can hardly bend so I have to walk with a strange gait. I've came back with my Advanced scout standard already.
The camp wasn't as dreadful as I thought it would be. To me the confidence walk and trustfall were the highlight of the camp. The confidence walk was through the tampines biking trail at night. Very eerie it was. First time I went in I got spooked when I heard a tiny scuttling sound right behind me. Probably some lizard. Heard footsteps in the sand other than mine. but I walked on.
Trustfall was also great. The sec ones were really afraid to fall backwards from the foot of the pillar and let us catch them. We had to stand with our arms out to catch them as they fell. I find it really meaningful cuz it makes us have faith and trust in our buddies.
Found some handouts on the convention on the rights of a child. I was really frustrated when such an important handout was found lying on one of the canteen benches. It is our rights.
Goes something like this:
1. All of us have rights regardless of race, language or religion.
2. Everything that adults do concerning children should be done in their best interests.
3.Everyone has the right to be heard.

Reminded me of the time when we were ignored by Mr Heng when we asked him a question. Just cannot forget that one.

Kept playing pool. So many games. Its great cuz I downloaded msn 7.0 and I can start doodling. K this is where i will end. Bye :)
Here is a secret to living life. Take a look at anyone who may be needing encouragement or some kind of physical or mental help. Then ask yourself what you can do to help. It can be a smile or just a few kind words. Always go to someone and never leave without making the person feel better.- Nazri

Heaven

2005-06-05T01:43:00.000-07:00

I'm ill. Really dry throat and endless sneezing.argh. This flu is really annoying. I hope it abates by the camp. Had to cut my entry short just now cuz of it sry.

Really wonder what heaven is like. I believe that heaven is a place free from pain, free from suffering, from disease. It is an ideal place where ease reigns. From the book 'The Five People You meet In Heaven', writer Mitch Albom holds a different belief. In the book he says that heaven is a place not only for ease, but also for finding solace, where those who thought they were nothing on earth actually find great meaning in their lives which they thought were very dull while they were on earth. I quite agree, but this view is really unique.
From the Green Mile: If you think of a man, who sincerely repents on what he done wrong, that he might go back to the time that was happiest for him and live there forever, that would be what heaven's like.

Camp on tuesday

2005-06-04T22:17:00.000-07:00

I have the dreaded scout camp from the 7th of June all the way to the 10th. 4 days 3 nights camp. Have a mixed feeling of dread and that distinct feeling of wanting it to be over ASAP. The way Jeremy Sir briefed us about the camp made me dread it especially. He speaks as if we are all gonna be lined up and executed on tuesday. Reminds me of those disturbing nightmares I used to have about massacres when I would see people by the hundreds being herded into a room and the door slamming shut and the sound of guns opening fire relentlessly. Then I would sit up in bed just breathing in heavily and being mightily glad that its just a dream.

Flag day, June 1st

2005-06-01T06:49:00.000-07:00

Yesterday night I planned to wake up early and get some Blueberry morning cereal before starting the busy day. In the end I woke up at 7.20 and had to rush to Raffles. Flag day was quite alright.

Tis' a madly, crazily fast-paced life we all live out there,
Myriads rushing for the trains, in their usual suit-and-tie,
Once read that there was no sense in wearing a noose around your neck every morning,
to that strange and funny place called work, where
you just know everything makes sense, and yet deep inside,
you just wanna be someplace else,
away from bustling crowds that you hurl yourself against in your own hurry,
away from staircases where you actually hear the thunder of high heels and shiny black shoes,
away from the noise, from the din, from the bustling lullably that we sleep by after getting used to, the same lullably that gets us up for work, and the same lullably that we unknowingly contribute to,
that one day we all wish that we can be part of it and get left out, and on another day wish that we can shut it out and yet are part of it all the same.
Yup, thats called work alright. Full of everything, depending on how you look at it, full of cheer, full of dullness. Full of deceit, and yet we also come up with such a thing as an honest day's labour. Full of truth also, and yet we can also get suspicious of it.
Yup, thats called work. To me, it has been a great day. Full of surprises and wonderful lessons behind every little corner, waiting to be explored.
-Nazri

Indescribable

2005-05-29T07:48:00.000-07:00

Boring morning today. Went out to tampines mall to get some things. Met Xin Min on the way back. Wish her all the best in the sales.
At the interchange I saw something I will never forget throughout my life. When I reached the station I saw an old man sitting on the floor with blood oozing out of his head. Another guy was helping him. The sight of blood on the floor was really unforgettable. It was really disturbing. I heard that he slipped and fell and hit his head against the railing. Hope he will be fine. I was even more shocked when I saw the station manager go walking back to fetch a first aid kit. He was walking!!! sheesh I half felt like screaming my lungs out for him to run. Someone was in a quite serious condition here, with a considerable amount of blood on the floor and he was walking?! This incident is gonna be embedded real deep in my mind. Try as I might, I just can't forget about it.

After that I just don't know why I felt a little rage at Him. I was just sick and tired of all the pain and suffering and blood in the world that at that moment, although I know very well that I shouldn't, I actually questioned all of His purposes behind every occurrence. But then again I knew that there is some hidden, unclear purpose behind every happening that he has for each and every one of us here on earth.

I'm still having trouble getting a good night's sleep. Lets hope for the best.

Helpless

2005-05-28T08:49:00.000-07:00

Tis' the end of term 2; the beginning of the holidays. An end marks a new beginning everytime. A death coincides with a birth of a newborn. It is the beautiful way of life we all live in.
I'm getting this heavy feeling everytime. I feel..guilty..like I have not done enough. Only damn thing I did to help solve the big problem was to write a stupid testimonial and a little words besides.
I'm getting sleepless nights worrying. What if he changes back to his old self when school reopens? I was really hoping this problem would end with the ending of the term so that we could start anew for term 3. I feel really hurt. I can't bring myself to look at their report books. If I take one glance at their chinese grades I would most probably be hurt even more.
But at least I know one thing. I've made up my mind. If he goes back to his old ways I think I'm really gonna tell him off square. Wanted to last time but just before I could do it he already change for the better. Hope he stays that way.
I notice that he drastically changed when he gave out the report books. Must have been told all about it by our VP sometime ago. If he did get told by Mrs Ng, then I sure hope that her words would stay in that little furry head of his.

"Everybody look! he is a lowly servant!"
The crowd roared with laughter. A great voice then rose above all the mockery.
"WHAT IS SO INFERIOR ABOUT BEING A SERVANT MAY I KNOW?"
The laughter was silenced.
"We are truly great not by the titles we have, or the awards, or the medals, or the trophies that collect dust over the years. Let me tell you all today that we are great by our character. We are great by our actions, by our attitude."
True greatness comes when we serve others. True pride comes in being humble. True strength comes in being gentle. And that, my friends, is God's honest Truth, beyond all doubt it is."
-By nazri

2 days before the wonderful hols

2005-05-26T06:46:00.000-07:00

Long since I've updated my blog. Been kept really busy recently. Not exactly what I expected for after exams.
Today was great. The personality tests given by Miss Chua were eerily accurate, especially for my case. It was an S personality for me. Many things happened today. And it was the outdoor cooking for Project Discovery that took the prize.
I had to explain the whole outdoor cooking steps to a bunch of people were not really listening. But the thing that made me really frustrated was the part when one of the sec ones quarrelled with another guy. Called each other names and made a complete fool outta themselves. And they still seemed to be proud of it. One of the groups actually used a lighter to get their fire going. He said it was more convenient. One guy even said that outdoor cooking was no use.
To hell with all that crap! Outdoor cooking is part of self-reliance, the ability to survive in a less hospitable situation.
And self-reliance is about making the most of the little things that we have with us. I told that guy that if you wanted it even more convenient, you might as well bring along your stove, and your solid fuel, and your convenient kitchen gas tank(lets see how you can fit this into your rucksack when you are out in the wild :] ) and also don't forget your damn refrigerator to make you feel more convenient..
These people just cannot use logical reasoning man. Shame that they are in long-pants and call themselves sec-3s.

Tuesday, 17 May 2005

2005-05-17T06:16:00.000-07:00

This morning was listening comprehension. Came in just in time, when the radio was just beginning to start the paper. Luckily for me I didn't miss anything. It was one hell of a communications break-down. Yesterday night Tse Yun told me that there might be compre for us. This morning Mr Heng told me there was no compre and even asked me what I was gonna do in school. I think Fadilah didn't know that there was listening compre. Quite understandable. It was not stated in the exam timetable and I doubt all of us were told before today.
Make us damn confused for no reason.Haiz..

Played soccer after listening. Wonderful game, especially the second half when there were clouds shielding us from the heat.

I'm beginning to love Star Wars. I looked into wikipedia.com for all the info. I discovered that it is quite similar to LOTR. I love Master Yoda and Qui Gon Jinn the most. Good always triumphs over evil.
When I despair, I remember that all through history the way of truth and love have always won. There have been tyrants, and murderers, and for a time they can seem invincible, but in the end they always fall. Think of it...always.

Mahatma Gandhi

Saturday, 14 May 2005

2005-05-14T07:19:00.000-07:00

Lay in bed the whole morning. somehow I love and appreciate my comfy bed much much more after the exams. I better go play some sports and get active again.
Played alot. Really alot. Spent a few hours on the computer (not including now when I'm typing). Starting to feel bored and I'm now turning to the computer to keep me occupied. After the exams the free time contrast is startlingly huge I'm figuring.

Thats about it. Naught else to write now.

Exams are over.

2005-05-13T02:54:00.000-07:00

Last two papers was today. E maths and POA. E maths went fine. POA was a headache. Could not get the accounts to balance. But its over. Such a tremendous relief.

The chill air was piercing in the hall. But I somehow felt warm in the midst of it. The second hand on the clock reached 12. POA's over. The exams are over.
"Alright. POA students stop writing."
Outburst of joyful cheers.
Wow. Finally.

Long weekend for me. Hope the people who still haven't finished their exams get it over as soon as possible so that they can relax together. Hope they will do fine.
Hope.

~Always remember Red, that hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies. I will be hoping that this letter finds you, and finds you well.~Andy Dufresne, The Shawshank Redemption.

Yup. So the exams are over. But there is still so much to do.

Scout promise
I promise to do my best,
To do my duty to God and country,
To help other people and
To keep the Scout Law.

Tests

2005-05-02T04:30:00.000-07:00

Tests are funny things you know. First and second year in Ngee Ann anyone would dread and feel nervous whenever there is a test coming up. If you let enough time pass, you'll start changing the way you think about them. I used to be real afraid when theres an upcoming test. Now I just look forward to it and want to get it over soon as possible.
Tests are funny things.
It's back to school tomorrow. Tuesday. 3rd May, 2005.
Yesterday cannot be repaired. Tomorrow may never come. Today is our only sole sure gift. Use it to the fullest.-Some philosopher whose name I've given up trying to recall.

Hello to all those who have come here to read. Hello to the old and newcomers.

Did some really deep thinking recently. I love thinking. First you see the rowdiness and the mad pace in the bustling world and you just shut it out. And the stillness, I tell you, is just wonderful.
It's as if you had been looking so long through a dense fog, and suddenly everything vanishes and before you is the clear sky. Such amazing clarity.

One day Spring came to me and said,"I'm dying, My days are coming to an end",I said no,it is not the end, it is the beginning of summer-Nazri

Too long since I last blogged

2005-04-30T05:15:00.000-07:00

It has been a week since my last entry. My group has yet to do our cme project.Lucky for me I've done all the homework already..just revision and the damn project for the rest of the weekend. Just dunno how on earth am I gonna get it done. We cannot meet during the weekend to do it so far.
And if possible I really don't wish to disturb them during the monday holiday. It's one of the few days they can get a chance to go out with their parents cuz both student n parent are free during public holidays.

A packed weekend

2005-04-22T07:50:00.000-07:00

Chem test is nxt wednesday. Log test is next monday. Mid-year is just around the corner. Iv'e got quite some homework to do. Maths lessons are giving me a real headache. Tis' a real confusing whirl up there in my mind. I need time. Quite weird how Mr Heng questioned me today. Information must have leaked out somewhere.

Today was fine overall. No Miss Zubaidah during poa. Haha she is one funny teacher.

My good blade carves the casques of men,
My tough lance thrusteth sure,
My strength is as the strength of ten,
Because my heart is pure.
-The Poem Sir Galahad

Carpe diem

2005-04-19T04:07:00.000-07:00

From the movie Dead Poets Society, Carpe diem, my friends. Seize the day. Make your lives extraordinary.
And never, NEVER give up hope.
Too often we choose the easier path because we do not want to risk getting lost.
Too often we do not take risks.

Today was wonderful. Like any other day. Now after reading this you might wonder if I ever run into any difficulty or any tough things to handle. But a day being wonderful does not depend on how many fortunes or misfortunes we run into. It is how we handle all our cares that matter most. Like I always say, it does not matter how strong or weak we are, what matters is that we do what we can with our ability.
Life is like a deck of cards. It is not how many good cards you get, it is how good you play with the cards that you have.-Famous quote
Yup.So it is a great day.

Too many times we stand aside
And let the waters slip away
'Til what we put off 'til tomorrow
Has now become today
So don't you sit upon the shoreline
And say you're satisfied
Choose to chance the rapids
And dare to dance the tide...

-Garth Brooks, The River

Humanity

2005-04-16T08:31:00.000-07:00

Today was one hell of a lesson. I went to Tampines Mall to get some stationery. On my way there there were many students with those tins jangling with coins out for donations you know. And when I saw some people walking by as if these wonderful compassionate souls didn't even exist, you know how I felt.
I really felt pity for them you know. They were running around, having to collect loose change so that the people suffering from Down's Syndrome could breathe a little easier. And many people just walked past, totally ignoring them. Really frigging lacking the humanity in them. Shame that they call themselves grown adults. It is a big difference, growing old and growing up is. And the same thing happened to those giving out flyers. Those people can always kindly say"No, thank you" and offer a smile instead of ignoring them.
To those who are doing their CIP and giving out flyers, I have this to say. Don't be disheartened every time these numbskulls ignore you alright. You are doing a noble job devoting your time to something you may never materialistically profit from. It makes a difference to those who are less fortunate.
I met my old primary school friend while I was crossing the road. Very long since I last seen her.
The other day when I was coming out from Little India on my way to the hospital I had a very bizzare experience. When I went into the toilet I saw this old Indian man washing his hands. Our eyes met and I smiled. He returned it. But there was something about his smile that shook me up you know, the way when you just know its far more than just a smile. It's as if he's trying to tell me something. A moment after I was done washing my hands I looked up into the mirror. He wasn't anywhere to be seen! I looked into all the cubicles and they were all empty. He couldn't have gone out because that way he would have to walk past me and I would definitely notice him. I feel I have met an angel. This really sounds crazy but I really don't think it is.
I smiled to myself, knowing it and dried my hands and left.

Perspective,my friends, perspective.

2005-04-15T08:55:00.000-07:00

I find that closing down our school canteen is really unrealistic. When we think about this, we must also look at the daily lives of the cleaners who have to clean up after us. They are not the same robust, energetic teenagers we are. They are frail and old. We must consider ourselves lucky if they can merely make the trip to school and perform their daily chores.
No doubt that closing our canteen would sound like a wonderful solution that would fiercely deter those people from leaving their utensils.
But we must look at it from all sides, whether we are the ones having the measure in place or the 80% of the student population who would suffer as a result. Take a glance at those who do not clear up, and you will find it good if you would have the canteen shut down. But, also take a glance at everyone who will not be able to have proper meals and a proper lunch. We must not forget that we are growing teenagers and need to eat, like everyone else. TAKE A GOOD LONG LOOK INTO THEIR PAINED EYES AND SAY IT IS GOOD TO SHUT THE CANTEEN!! GODDAMMIT how can we be so indifferent to those who have never caused this problem and yet would have to suffer from the effect if the canteen were to be shut down.

Its all a matter of perspective. Take one glance at the regime under Saddam and we would all feel that the idiot ought to be removed from the face of the Earth. It would seem okay to go to war.
TAKE ONE GLANCE AT ALL THOSE POOR SOULS OUT THERE WHO WILL SUFFER IF WAR BREAKS OUT. TAKE ONE LONG SURVEY AT ALL THOSE WILL BE HOMELESS BECAUSE THEIR HOMES WILL BE LOST AND DESTROYED AND THEIR LIVES UTTERLY RUINED!.Take one glance at all these poor human beings and TELL THEM THAT GOING TO WAR IS GONNA BE A WONDERFUL SOLUTION IN THEIR WAR-TORN COUNTRY ALREADY AS IT IS MAN DOO IT!!
Like I said, it is all a matter of perspective.
We must know that some of the decisions we make will affect others, for good or bad. Consider the consequences and whether the amount of good done by our actions would outweigh the bad.
Sometimes we have to make really hard decisions. We have to choose the best path.

The unusual turns of fate

2005-04-13T05:47:00.000-07:00

Today was pretty fine ( I love being optimistic-makes me smile more ). The physics test was quite short and okay. I went to visit my mum just now.

She was feeble,
Her hands were pale,
Breath... after breath
I held her hands in mine,
Words dying on my lips,

Her gentle snores,
Would have kept me awake all night,
So loud that I won't be able to sleep,
Now with each loud snore I feel so much relief,
To know that she is alive and breathing,
The same snore is now music to my ears,
I find a strange comfort in it in the midst of all my worry and fear.

Yet another day

2005-04-12T05:02:00.000-07:00

Today was almost bearable for all of us. This is all I have to say.

Testimonial

After what has happened recently, I have become very concerned about my friends of 3R5. Each day my worry grows greater. What is going to become of their test results? What is going to become of their lives while they are in Ngee Ann? What is going to become of their future elsewhere?

I have heard that Chinese lessons have not been going on smoothly. And I have also heard that a few of my friends have their Chinese test results adversely affected as a result. My concern begins here. Our concern begins here. The Mid-Year exam is approaching. The GCE O’ Levels are only about a year away. Chinese is one of the pillars that will hold up our results. It will affect their admission to higher educational institutions later on. It will also affect the O’ Level certificate that would secure them decent jobs for their families many years down the road and a decent future.

Therefore, the Chinese subject holds considerable weight in their future. Now, I have heard many teachers tell us on the importance of manpower in Singapore. The same thing rings in my ears even now. Human beings are the only resource Singapore has, they say. It has nothing else that it can rely on to prosper. I staunchly agree with their teachings. Singapore has nothing else but all of us. All we can dig up from the ground is more soil.

And therefore, the future of this nation rests on the shoulders of the people and lies in their hands. Likewise, the future of the students lies in the hands of their teachers. It is all closely interwoven with each other. If we have great teachers, we will have great students. If we have great youth, Singapore will have a bright future in the years to come. My sole concern is in our future because the youth of Singaporewill one day take up the reins in our government and workforce. The Youth must be moulded with care so that our future will be great.

I am fully aware that the overwhelming majority is requesting for a change to another form teacher in their best interests. I understand that in a democracy, the majority always wins in any decision. However, I strongly urge that you do what is best for us in your judgement, even if it does not necessarily mean so.

I hope that you will take this into consideration.

-Nazri

Yet another day

2005-04-12T04:38:00.000-07:00

Today was almost bearable for all of us I think. Thats all I have to say.

A day of firsts

2005-04-11T00:28:00.000-07:00

The A maths test was really tough. Its really giving me a headache its so mind-boggling. More than enough on my plate already as it is. But I must press on still. The journey is far from over.
Lets just get it over as soon as possible.

A poem from www.inspirationpeak.com
When things go wrong as they sometimes will;
When the road you're trudging seems all uphill;
When the funds are low, and the debts are high
And you want to smile, but have to sigh;
When care is pressing you down a bit-
Rest if you must, but do not quit.

Success is failure turned inside out;
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt;
And you can never tell how close you are
It may be near when it seems so far;
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit-
It's when things go wrong that you must not quit.